The 10-years delayed dinner
After about four years of hiatus, I saw Okada Masaki's series again. Love them, still love him. Then I saw Himitsu no Akko-chan last night (Eng-sub), and decided to write this fan-fiction. Hope you like it. The story takes place after the last scene in the movie.
Kagami Atsuko looked absentmindedly at the paperwork in front of her. The approval document for the new organic facial cleanser that she developed with her new team has to be signed by the manager of the R&D team tomorrow. She knew there was nothing wrong with the document or the associated product, trials had indicated that the customers loved the product and it would sell well.
However, there’s one tiny problem for the document. It had to be signed by Hayase Naoto, the R&D Manager. And since her reintroduction to Akatsuka last April, facing Hayase-san, or Naoto as she used to call him, had been difficult. Apparently, things didn’t remain the same forever.
Originally, she was ecstatic that she was accepted in the Research & Development Office, the same department that Naoto had been leading for more than 10 years. The department was bigger now, it had an established cosmetics section and a separate skin care section. Within the cosmetics section, they had developed cosmetics for daily use, for gala dinner, and for anything in between, including a new section for teenagers. Within the skin care section, they had developed the organic line. Akko was assigned in that department, which shared the same wing with Naoto, yet a different section thus she couldn’t always see him.
Not that she had decided to be a stalker. She might have when she was 10, but now that she was almost 22 years old, she knew that some boundaries were there to respect privacy. Of course she was happy that she had some very cordial conversation with Hayase Naoto when she was officially accepted in her old department. Yet, her dream of having a nice coffee or even dinner with Naoto as she told him her secret was never realised. He looked happy – ecstatic even – to see her again, but there was something she didn’t understand.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then!” was not exactly the line you would expect from someone who said he loved you 10 years ago. But that was what he said at the end of that day. She almost blurted “Huh?! That’s it?!”, but her sense of propriety stopped her.
“Luckily”, it didn’t take her long to understand the reason behind his weird behaviour. Just exactly the day after, a very beautiful girl appeared at the office, looking for Naoto. Upon watching her entering his office (Naoto had a closed office now), he smiled, grabbed his coat and walked out with her. At that time, Akko was walking into Naoto’s section, a good 20 m away from him. He didn’t see her, but she did see everything. Akko stopped in her track, her skin care document proposal almost slipped off her hands when she saw how happy Naoto and that gorgeous girl were.
Later, she learned what happened. That girl was Naru Mariko, a model that the marketing section had contracted to market their latest lipstick line. Mariko and Naoto hit off immediately, so the rumour said, when they were introduced to each other about a year ago.
“That was rather unexpected, and disappointing, ne?” said a girl from the marketing section. “We have been hoping that he’d pick one of us… but then a photo model came, and of course she knocked us out…”
“Nee…” another girl butted in, “Rumour has it that Buchō has never dated anyone before, is that true?” the girl was Kobayashi Azuki. Also a newbie, she sat next to Akko during the group interview. Somehow, she and Akko had become close ever since. Azuki had been excited to follow office gossips, hence her dragging Akko to a girls’ lunch that Friday. Akko liked the idea of a girls’ lunch, but not if it was to – as it turned out – dig out news about the charming yet solitary Buchō Hayase. No one realised that Akko was the same person who came to work with them in 2012. If 1-2 people spotted the similarity between Kagami Atsuko and a spring-feet Akko who worked for a winter break in 2012, they would just think that it was a coincidence.
Akko ate her salad in silence, half wanting to learn more, half wanting for the girls to change topic. Not even to Azuki Akko could tell her childhood secret. The only person she had ever told the story to was Mokko-chan, who was now a medical student in Osaka. Ever the logical girl, Mokko had forbidden Akko to tell the story to anyone else, for no one would believe her and it could damage her scientific reputation as a bio-engineering researcher. That is, of course, except to Naoto, for Akko did owe him that explanation.
Except… that the man in question did not seem to be interested in her anymore.
“That’s not true,” the marketing girl said again. “Hayase-san had dated 2-3 girls since I worked here eight years ago. None of them worked here, by the way, he’s always that professional. But, if I recall correctly, none of the relationships seem to last more than four months.” She sighed as she sipped her water. “However, with such a gorgeous girl like Mariko-san, none of us stands a chance…”
“So… it seems this time, Hayase-san is serious, ne…?” Azuki concluded. “Well, he seems like a good guy, so Mariko-san is a lucky model then… Don’t you think so?” Azuki turned to Akko, who had been eating her lunch silently. “Akko, don’t you think so?”
A cheerful smile followed Akko’s forced “Sure! She’s very lucky!”. No one, except for a pregnant woman who was sitting under a tree a few tables away from them, realised that Akko’s smile was a forced one.
-xxx-
“It’s almost Christmas… don’t you have a Christmas shopping to do?”
Akko looked up from her paperwork to find Aoyama Mari smiling sincerely at her. Aoyama-san was now with the Marketing Department, and she had been eight months pregnant. Our second child, she told Akko six months ago when she saw her during that girls’ lunch in April. Aoyama was married to a doctor five years ago and she looked happy. She was, however, apologetic when she said that her department actually introduced Naoto to Mariko last year.
After lunch that Friday, Mari had suggested that she and Akko walked back to the office together. Surprised to see her old colleague, Akko consented.
“I didn’t realise that he would…” Mari-kun slowed down to a halt; Akko – who had been walking silently next to her – had to stop as well. “… that he would take interest in her. He had dated some girls after you left… but the dates never went anywhere. I never thought –” Mari turned to face the young bio-engineer and, searching for something in her eyes, continued. “I’m sorry, Kagami-san… I honestly never thought you would reappear in his life. Not that it’s my business anyway…”
Akko remembered how she touched Mari’s arm gently. Mari had flinched slightly, but then she relaxed. She didn’t buy what Akko said later, that Akko was happy that Naoto found love, that she came to Akatsuka because of her love for good cosmetics only, but Mari decided it was not her place to probe in.
And now, as has been the habit every now and then, Mari dropped into the R&D Office just to make sure that Akko didn’t stay up late. The young woman had developed a habit of staying up late at the office, and Mari didn’t once believe that it was just to finish her skin care proposal.
“Everyone has left already, Kagami-san….” Mari stole a quick glance at Naoto’s office; it was empty. “Don’t you think you need to go home as well?”
Akko looked at the window and saw that the Tokyo Tower had changed colour. It was 8 pm already. She smiled and started gathering her documents. “My father had just returned home from overseas… so I thought I’ll just give my parents some private time alone.” She shoved her documents into her drawers and locked them. “But I think your suggestion for Christmas shopping is a good idea!”
Mari noticed the forced cheerfulness in Akko’s voice, but she decided to overlook it. There was one thing she could not overlook, though. She decided against beating around the bush.
“I learned from HR this morning that you were asking about the exact time for notice of leave. What is that all about?”
That out-of-the-blue question caught Akko off-guard. “Mari-san…”
“Kagami-san… do you want to leave Akatsuka before you taste success? I learned that your organic skin care has a good potential… do you not want to see it delivered as a great debut of yours?”
Of course she did. Of course Kagami Atsuko wanted it. But if the product was successful, it meant that she had to work closely – closer than it was now – with Naoto, and she didn’t think she could take it anymore. Despite the shy wrinkles at the corner of his eyes and some shy strays of grey hair, Hayase Naoto looked exactly the same as she remembered. His smile was still the same, his voice still had that touch of baritone that she loved, his hair was still the semi-messy yet stylish hair he had. He looked rather weary at times, but not because of frustration this time… Naoto had more responsibilities now, and it did seem to weigh him down. Yet his eyes that lit up every time Atsuko entered his office, the times he came to her cubicle to discuss about some really mundane things, everything indicated that he still liked her. Yet… just as Akko allowed some seeds of hope, Naoto’s mobile phone would ring. He’d pick it up to realise that it was Mariko calling. Then there would be lunch visits from Mariko or times where Naoto would leave the office before 6 pm in a mad dash to a dinner…
And yet, the day after he’d stay at the office to catch up with Akko on the same mundane things, or something involving the latest research published by the latest journal articles… and Akko would see his eyes shine again on her. Like a spotlight. Brighter than Tokyo Tower at night.
And Kagami Atsuko had enough. She might have enjoyed it when she was 10, but now that she was a woman, she didn’t enjoy having her heart in a roller coaster.
All those, she had all those explanations bursting on the tip of her tongue. She would offer those explanations freely to Aoyama Mari, had the woman asked her. Yet, still the same reserved person, Mari held her tongue as well.
“Hayase-san thinks very highly of you… if that is not clear enough by now.” After a moment of hesitation, Mari added, “He thinks you’re a breath of fresh air into the department, the same way you brought changes to us 10 years ago.”
Akko blinked, her eyes absentmindedly travelled to the direction of Naoto’s office. “He never said it.”
“He became more recluse after you left… but it didn’t mean that I don’t see his heart.” Mari smiled. “Don’t get me wrong. I just don’t want you to leave a place you love… just because you don’t get all that you love.” She checked at her watch and grabbed her bag. “I have to go. But just do yourself a favour. Ask yourself why you wanted to work here in the first place. I mean, now, as…the current you. What really drives you here. And if you don’t find that drive anymore… then you deserve your happiness elsewhere.”
“Aoyama-san…” Akko lost for words. “I… thank you…”
Aoyama Mari nodded, smiled and left the office. Kagami Atsuko turned her attention on the Tokyo Tower that glowed in the distance. December snow had started to fall, ever so slightly, making the night sky of Tokyo dreamlike. The Tokyo Tower reminded her of Naoto’s colour-changing lipgloss line. That line has become a classic now. She felt her chest beaming in pride for him. She had told him as much earlier last week when he came to her cubicle to ask if she had checked a variable in her experiment (the answer: yes, of course she had checked it). Then, for the first time since April, they talked about the excitement of the past when they strived to maintain the department. They had a good laugh; Akko heard again Naoto’s twinkling laughter that she had missed for so long. Then, came the unexpected request.
“Would you… would you care for a drink with me after hour?” Naoto had struggled to ask that question, but he resolutely held his ground and asked it anyway.
When she was a child masquerading as a college student, Akko had dreaded that invitation. She didn’t know what to do with such an invite. Yet, now, she dreaded it for another reason. What would Mariko-san think?
Yet, she couldn’t deny that she wanted that drink, she wanted that after-hour chat… she wanted that closeness. Perhaps Mariko was not in town… perhaps a simple drink would be acceptable…
And yet, as she nodded her consent, as she saw the familiar light lit from within Naoto’s eyes, his phone rang again. She felt like a sudden haze enveloped her. She registered Naoto’s resigned look and his sigh as he lulled his head heavenward. He stepped away to take the call, but Akko heard the “… I thought you’re in Kyoto?... tonight? But I was thinking…” from Naoto’s restrained conversation a few steps away from her.
Then the silence. Then the conversation stopped. And the light disappeared from his face… or so she thought, as he said that he had to do a rain check for that drink plan. He had an unexpected event that evening.
Ever since, Hayase Naoto had avoided Kagami Atsuko. He was still courteous and polite, the necessary conversations were there, but they had lost the warmth. There was a wall between them she couldn’t understand.
And then there was that kiss. Not him kissing her as she had dreamed of since she was in high school. No… it was Mariko who kissed him as she came to his office a few days later, whispering how she missed him. Never a person who displayed affection in public, Naoto blushed and muttered that he was too busy for lunch now, but he’d be there for dinner. Mariko smiled, kissed him again but lightly this time. She fixed his tie and left, Chanel No. 5 filled the corridor as she walked away. Akko remembered that Naoto had looked up in embarrassment, only to have his gaze accidentally met Akko’s. Both of them froze in time, before Akko’s mobile phone rang. Mokko-chan had saved her with her timely, totally unplanned, call from Osaka.
Akko had cried her heart out to Mokko-chan that evening. The day after, she went to HR to ask about the rules of contract termination. It seemed she had to stay in the company for two years before she could leave without penalty. That means up to 1.5 years of pretending of not seeing Naoto walking out for lunch with the photo model, or their kisses, or their phone calls.
But that also meant… 1.5 years of exciting new products and seeing the happy countenance of their customers who found solace in their new products.
How would she see this? A torturous 1.5 years, or an exciting one?
Akko sighed. She missed Mokko-chan. She missed their childhood laughter. Perhaps a trip to Osaka this weekend was a good idea. Deciding to snap out of her lethargy, Akko collected her things, left her cubicle and walked out of her office. Just as she turned off the light, a tall frame appeared from the corridor.
“I’m glad I caught you before you go home. Care for a quick drink?”
-xxx-
Akko played around with her Yebisu as Hayase Naoto sat across her, not touching his own Asahi. They had been sitting in silence for at least 15 min in that bar, a few minutes’ walk from the office towards Tokyo Tower.
"I heard that you talked to HR yesterday," Naoto suddenly broke the silence.
"Ah..." Akko sipped her Yebisu. "Aoyama-san told you about it?"
"Do you want to leave the company?" When the girl said nothing, Naoto pressed on. "Why? Are you not happy here?"
Kagami Atsuko looked up, her eyes misty. She hated herself when she was a crybaby like this. "Things changed..." was the only explanation she could offer him.
Naoto knew what had changed, but he asked it anyway. "What things have changed?"
Akko blinked and wiped some treacherous drops of tears from her eyes. "Nothing. It's just me. Besides, I am just exploring my options. I love working here... so I might stay anyway."
"...Anyway?" Naoto finally reached out to his Asahi and had a large sip. "As in, you are still not really happy, but you decided to stay?"
"Not sure," she shrugged. "I only know that I have dreams, and I don't want to give them up. At least, I want to cling on to one dream, if that's okay."
Naoto studied Akko's pony tails. She didn't wear that hairstyle often now, but today she did, despite the winter, and he actually liked it when she did. He decided to detour the conversation slightly.
“I’ve been wanting to have a drink with you like this,” Naoto spoke again. “You never responded to my invitations back then, so I wasn’t sure if you’d actually accept it… last week, when I asked you.”
“I did say yes, didn’t I…” Akko secretly studied some snowflakes on Naoto’s hair as she sipped her Yebisu. Actually, she might need gin and tonic instead. “But you then had something else, suddenly, if I may say so.”
“Mariko came back from Kyoto unexpectedly.” He sounded so apologetic.
Atsuko looked down at her nails. “I know.”
“I just broke up with her.” There. He said it.
“I kno- WHAT??”
Akko couldn’t possibly guess what Naoto would say, but that one was definitely NOT in her wildest imagination. Growing up taught her to be careful with her hopes.
Regretting that he didn’t order anything stronger for Dutch courage, Naoto gulped his Asahi. “I broke up with Mariko just now.”
Akko blinked. It was a while before she found herself asking why.
“Because I love someone else. And I could have ended it quicker, but I just couldn’t be sure of myself until last week. I should… I should have been certain since last April, though, but I wasn’t.”
-xxx-
The truth is, Hayase Naoto never forgot Kagami Atsuko. True, he had dated 2-3 girls before he met Mariko, but even with Mariko around, he never felt at home. Ever since he saw Akko on that fateful day in 2012, he couldn’t forget her. Not even after she disappeared without a trace.
Oh, Naoto did search for Akko… he even traced her back to the playground he first saw her, for he later remembered that she was the policewoman he bumped into that day. But… he never found her. As if a magical curtain always prevented him to search further. To add the mystery, all of the factory workers who saw a cat transforming into Akko before they prevented the factory from exploding did not seem to remember that transformation at all. They just remembered that Akko and Naoto rushed into the factory to warn them about the bomb. Akko found the bomb, Naoto hurled it into an open space just before it exploded. And then, after reporting to the police, Naoto tried to find Akko. He found only her hand-written letter. The girl herself was gone, swallowed by the night.
Thus Hayase Naoto tried to move on. When Mariko came into his life, he thought he had truly moved on. It was excited to be around someone as lively as Mariko… but when her love turned to possessiveness, he started to feel suffocated. It wasn’t that he was afraid of commitment; but he didn’t like to be tied the way she (perhaps unconsciously) did to him.
Thus, Akko’s unexpected return to Akatsuka gave him contradictory emotions. On the day of the interview, he wanted nothing more than taking her for a dinner that night. Yet, he must remain neutral, hence he waited until the committee accepted her as a new recruit. Only when he found out that Akko was accepted, it hit him. He had Mariko now, hence he couldn’t just leave her for Akko. He didn’t know if his feelings for Akko had been replaced for his feelings for Mariko. Besides, Akko might not have the same feelings that he once had for her…
Hence, he waited and waited for the small chance to talk to Akko, for the chance to know her again. Their shared interest in bio-engineering gave him plenty of reasons. He’d share latest research developments with her, she’d give him her honest opinion about whatever topic he threw at her. He found out that the childlike innocence that she once had had been watered down by logic and propriety… yet her enthusiasm remained. She was still bouncy around Mr Security Guard, who was now the Head of Security, yet she suddenly turned subdued whenever he, Naoto, appeared. The first time Akko greeted him as “Hayase-san”, Naoto felt disappointed. She used to call him just “Naoto”. He wanted her to call him on first-name basis, but he wasn’t sure it was appropriate for a new recruit.
His excessive self-awareness made their reintroduction very slow. Naoto was aware that he had to make the first move, but the combination of Mariko’s presence and the weird fact that Akko had not looked even slightly older since 10 years ago made him confused. Hence he chose to just talk about current workloads, and nothing else. Until last week, when Akko blurted out how she was so proud of him… and how fun it was to work on the colour-changing lipgloss together. Only then Naoto was truly convinced that this Akko was truly that Akko that he met in the department store. Only then he realised that Akko still cared for him, for her cheeks wouldn’t otherwise blush. When Akko agreed for the drink session, Naoto thought that he would just need one more sign from her to make up his mind. Then Mariko called… and the drink was off.
In a way, he was now grateful that Mariko called. The call cemented his decision. He didn’t love Mariko. He was attracted to her, as she was to him, but he didn’t love her. He never felt at home with her, and that was a very important feeling for a boy whose mother left him too early in life. Ever since, Naoto had tried to breach the subject with Mariko, only to have her always evading the conversation. Mariko knew Naoto’s attention had shifted elsewhere, and she had suspected that the cute but ordinary new girl might have been the source, but her pride had kept her from admitting it.
During one dinner last weekend, Mariko had blatantly suggested that it would be great for them to get married. They were made for each other. The cosmetics world of Japan would be so stoked to find that the famous Hayase Naoto of Akatsuka would marry Naru Mariko, the famous photo model. It would be such a happy journey, not to mention a great marketing for them.
Reducing love to a mere marketing strategy was too much for Naoto. He didn’t sleep that night, trying to find the proper way to break up with Mariko. They were not living together, thus breaking up would be a simpler, if not dramatic, business. Yet, it took his old colleague Aoyama Mari to make up his mind this morning. After a regular executive meeting, Mari-kun had casually asked for a private talk with him.
“Kagami Atsuko-san has asked the HR about the terms of engagement. HR thinks that she is not happy here, and thus she plans to leave. Since she’s… in your department, I thought I want to give you a heads up.”
Naoto had stuttered before he thanked Mari-kun for her intelligence. He then took a long walk by the nearby park, skipping lunch altogether. Afterwards, he called Mariko for a quick chat after-hour. He knew Mariko was hesitant, but he said that he had to make a decision, hence the talk was important. He knew that Mariko then thought that it was about the wedding, hence she agreed. Naoto felt a bit guilty because of that, but he just couldn’t let this issue drag longer.
-xxx-
“I don’t understand…” Akko whispered, blush crept into her cheeks. Naoto had just explained her what he had been feeling since the last 10 years, including his break up with Mariko.
“What don’t you understand?”
Akko looked up. “She’s so pretty, why did you break up with her?”
Naoto snickered as he touched his own cheek. Mariko had slapped him this afternoon after he delivered his intention to break up. “Being pretty doesn’t replace the feeling of being at home.” He slowly touched Akko’s hands; they trembled as she looked down again. “I feel at home with you. I said before that I always need you by my side… and that feeling remains the same.”
It was a good while before Akko looked up and whispered, “All these years…?”
“All these years…." She blushed again; he smiled and whispered, "You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you.” Then, with a degree of uncertainty, he added, “Is it correct for me to interpret that your silence means that my feelings for you are reciprocated?”
Kagami Atsuko looked up and, finally, smiled. “You owe me a dinner. You said you will take me to dinner one day.”
Hayase Naoto smiled back and rose from his chair. “I’ll take you to dinner now. Come on, I have my favourite ramen place just around the corner. And then…” as he helped his girl putting on her coat, he added, “… then you need to tell me that famous secret of yours that kept me waiting for 10 years.”
Seeing the familiar smile and shining face, Akko-chan grinned. “It’s a deal, Naoto.”
-END-
Author's note:
Himitsu no Akko-chan was a cute movie, and the English subtitle certainly helped me understand what happened, particularly before and during the annual stakeholder meeting. However, I don't actually get the chemistry between Akko and Naoto. It's not the fault of Haruka and Masaki, I think. It might have been rather deliberate, because Akko was actually a 10 years old girl, thus if it is hyper-sexualised, it would not be appropriate. Thus, I was okay with the non-kiss scene, where Akko actually placed a plastic board between her and Naoto's lips.
However, when the story jumped 10 years ahead, I started to see that it was indeed possible for Akko and Naoto to be an item. It wouldn't be like that had the movie ended with Akko being just a girl, skipping happily with Mokko-chan. Yet, when I saw how she looked at the 38 years old Naoto and how Naoto looked back at her... that was the time when I thought: yes, it could work. They could make it work.
It would not be easy, though. To me, Naoto might have tried to move on. Worse, he might have a family already. I don't want to make it too dramatic, hence I chose a girlfriend instead of a wife and a child.
I hope you like it.
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| Akko (Haruka Ayase) and Naoto (Okada Masaki), Himitsu no Akko-chan (2012) |
Kagami Atsuko looked absentmindedly at the paperwork in front of her. The approval document for the new organic facial cleanser that she developed with her new team has to be signed by the manager of the R&D team tomorrow. She knew there was nothing wrong with the document or the associated product, trials had indicated that the customers loved the product and it would sell well.
However, there’s one tiny problem for the document. It had to be signed by Hayase Naoto, the R&D Manager. And since her reintroduction to Akatsuka last April, facing Hayase-san, or Naoto as she used to call him, had been difficult. Apparently, things didn’t remain the same forever.
Originally, she was ecstatic that she was accepted in the Research & Development Office, the same department that Naoto had been leading for more than 10 years. The department was bigger now, it had an established cosmetics section and a separate skin care section. Within the cosmetics section, they had developed cosmetics for daily use, for gala dinner, and for anything in between, including a new section for teenagers. Within the skin care section, they had developed the organic line. Akko was assigned in that department, which shared the same wing with Naoto, yet a different section thus she couldn’t always see him.
Not that she had decided to be a stalker. She might have when she was 10, but now that she was almost 22 years old, she knew that some boundaries were there to respect privacy. Of course she was happy that she had some very cordial conversation with Hayase Naoto when she was officially accepted in her old department. Yet, her dream of having a nice coffee or even dinner with Naoto as she told him her secret was never realised. He looked happy – ecstatic even – to see her again, but there was something she didn’t understand.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then!” was not exactly the line you would expect from someone who said he loved you 10 years ago. But that was what he said at the end of that day. She almost blurted “Huh?! That’s it?!”, but her sense of propriety stopped her.
“Luckily”, it didn’t take her long to understand the reason behind his weird behaviour. Just exactly the day after, a very beautiful girl appeared at the office, looking for Naoto. Upon watching her entering his office (Naoto had a closed office now), he smiled, grabbed his coat and walked out with her. At that time, Akko was walking into Naoto’s section, a good 20 m away from him. He didn’t see her, but she did see everything. Akko stopped in her track, her skin care document proposal almost slipped off her hands when she saw how happy Naoto and that gorgeous girl were.
Later, she learned what happened. That girl was Naru Mariko, a model that the marketing section had contracted to market their latest lipstick line. Mariko and Naoto hit off immediately, so the rumour said, when they were introduced to each other about a year ago.
“That was rather unexpected, and disappointing, ne?” said a girl from the marketing section. “We have been hoping that he’d pick one of us… but then a photo model came, and of course she knocked us out…”
“Nee…” another girl butted in, “Rumour has it that Buchō has never dated anyone before, is that true?” the girl was Kobayashi Azuki. Also a newbie, she sat next to Akko during the group interview. Somehow, she and Akko had become close ever since. Azuki had been excited to follow office gossips, hence her dragging Akko to a girls’ lunch that Friday. Akko liked the idea of a girls’ lunch, but not if it was to – as it turned out – dig out news about the charming yet solitary Buchō Hayase. No one realised that Akko was the same person who came to work with them in 2012. If 1-2 people spotted the similarity between Kagami Atsuko and a spring-feet Akko who worked for a winter break in 2012, they would just think that it was a coincidence.
Akko ate her salad in silence, half wanting to learn more, half wanting for the girls to change topic. Not even to Azuki Akko could tell her childhood secret. The only person she had ever told the story to was Mokko-chan, who was now a medical student in Osaka. Ever the logical girl, Mokko had forbidden Akko to tell the story to anyone else, for no one would believe her and it could damage her scientific reputation as a bio-engineering researcher. That is, of course, except to Naoto, for Akko did owe him that explanation.
Except… that the man in question did not seem to be interested in her anymore.
“That’s not true,” the marketing girl said again. “Hayase-san had dated 2-3 girls since I worked here eight years ago. None of them worked here, by the way, he’s always that professional. But, if I recall correctly, none of the relationships seem to last more than four months.” She sighed as she sipped her water. “However, with such a gorgeous girl like Mariko-san, none of us stands a chance…”
“So… it seems this time, Hayase-san is serious, ne…?” Azuki concluded. “Well, he seems like a good guy, so Mariko-san is a lucky model then… Don’t you think so?” Azuki turned to Akko, who had been eating her lunch silently. “Akko, don’t you think so?”
A cheerful smile followed Akko’s forced “Sure! She’s very lucky!”. No one, except for a pregnant woman who was sitting under a tree a few tables away from them, realised that Akko’s smile was a forced one.
-xxx-
“It’s almost Christmas… don’t you have a Christmas shopping to do?”
Akko looked up from her paperwork to find Aoyama Mari smiling sincerely at her. Aoyama-san was now with the Marketing Department, and she had been eight months pregnant. Our second child, she told Akko six months ago when she saw her during that girls’ lunch in April. Aoyama was married to a doctor five years ago and she looked happy. She was, however, apologetic when she said that her department actually introduced Naoto to Mariko last year.
After lunch that Friday, Mari had suggested that she and Akko walked back to the office together. Surprised to see her old colleague, Akko consented.
“I didn’t realise that he would…” Mari-kun slowed down to a halt; Akko – who had been walking silently next to her – had to stop as well. “… that he would take interest in her. He had dated some girls after you left… but the dates never went anywhere. I never thought –” Mari turned to face the young bio-engineer and, searching for something in her eyes, continued. “I’m sorry, Kagami-san… I honestly never thought you would reappear in his life. Not that it’s my business anyway…”
Akko remembered how she touched Mari’s arm gently. Mari had flinched slightly, but then she relaxed. She didn’t buy what Akko said later, that Akko was happy that Naoto found love, that she came to Akatsuka because of her love for good cosmetics only, but Mari decided it was not her place to probe in.
And now, as has been the habit every now and then, Mari dropped into the R&D Office just to make sure that Akko didn’t stay up late. The young woman had developed a habit of staying up late at the office, and Mari didn’t once believe that it was just to finish her skin care proposal.
“Everyone has left already, Kagami-san….” Mari stole a quick glance at Naoto’s office; it was empty. “Don’t you think you need to go home as well?”
Akko looked at the window and saw that the Tokyo Tower had changed colour. It was 8 pm already. She smiled and started gathering her documents. “My father had just returned home from overseas… so I thought I’ll just give my parents some private time alone.” She shoved her documents into her drawers and locked them. “But I think your suggestion for Christmas shopping is a good idea!”
Mari noticed the forced cheerfulness in Akko’s voice, but she decided to overlook it. There was one thing she could not overlook, though. She decided against beating around the bush.
“I learned from HR this morning that you were asking about the exact time for notice of leave. What is that all about?”
That out-of-the-blue question caught Akko off-guard. “Mari-san…”
“Kagami-san… do you want to leave Akatsuka before you taste success? I learned that your organic skin care has a good potential… do you not want to see it delivered as a great debut of yours?”
Of course she did. Of course Kagami Atsuko wanted it. But if the product was successful, it meant that she had to work closely – closer than it was now – with Naoto, and she didn’t think she could take it anymore. Despite the shy wrinkles at the corner of his eyes and some shy strays of grey hair, Hayase Naoto looked exactly the same as she remembered. His smile was still the same, his voice still had that touch of baritone that she loved, his hair was still the semi-messy yet stylish hair he had. He looked rather weary at times, but not because of frustration this time… Naoto had more responsibilities now, and it did seem to weigh him down. Yet his eyes that lit up every time Atsuko entered his office, the times he came to her cubicle to discuss about some really mundane things, everything indicated that he still liked her. Yet… just as Akko allowed some seeds of hope, Naoto’s mobile phone would ring. He’d pick it up to realise that it was Mariko calling. Then there would be lunch visits from Mariko or times where Naoto would leave the office before 6 pm in a mad dash to a dinner…
And yet, the day after he’d stay at the office to catch up with Akko on the same mundane things, or something involving the latest research published by the latest journal articles… and Akko would see his eyes shine again on her. Like a spotlight. Brighter than Tokyo Tower at night.
And Kagami Atsuko had enough. She might have enjoyed it when she was 10, but now that she was a woman, she didn’t enjoy having her heart in a roller coaster.
All those, she had all those explanations bursting on the tip of her tongue. She would offer those explanations freely to Aoyama Mari, had the woman asked her. Yet, still the same reserved person, Mari held her tongue as well.
“Hayase-san thinks very highly of you… if that is not clear enough by now.” After a moment of hesitation, Mari added, “He thinks you’re a breath of fresh air into the department, the same way you brought changes to us 10 years ago.”
Akko blinked, her eyes absentmindedly travelled to the direction of Naoto’s office. “He never said it.”
“He became more recluse after you left… but it didn’t mean that I don’t see his heart.” Mari smiled. “Don’t get me wrong. I just don’t want you to leave a place you love… just because you don’t get all that you love.” She checked at her watch and grabbed her bag. “I have to go. But just do yourself a favour. Ask yourself why you wanted to work here in the first place. I mean, now, as…the current you. What really drives you here. And if you don’t find that drive anymore… then you deserve your happiness elsewhere.”
“Aoyama-san…” Akko lost for words. “I… thank you…”
Aoyama Mari nodded, smiled and left the office. Kagami Atsuko turned her attention on the Tokyo Tower that glowed in the distance. December snow had started to fall, ever so slightly, making the night sky of Tokyo dreamlike. The Tokyo Tower reminded her of Naoto’s colour-changing lipgloss line. That line has become a classic now. She felt her chest beaming in pride for him. She had told him as much earlier last week when he came to her cubicle to ask if she had checked a variable in her experiment (the answer: yes, of course she had checked it). Then, for the first time since April, they talked about the excitement of the past when they strived to maintain the department. They had a good laugh; Akko heard again Naoto’s twinkling laughter that she had missed for so long. Then, came the unexpected request.
“Would you… would you care for a drink with me after hour?” Naoto had struggled to ask that question, but he resolutely held his ground and asked it anyway.
When she was a child masquerading as a college student, Akko had dreaded that invitation. She didn’t know what to do with such an invite. Yet, now, she dreaded it for another reason. What would Mariko-san think?
Yet, she couldn’t deny that she wanted that drink, she wanted that after-hour chat… she wanted that closeness. Perhaps Mariko was not in town… perhaps a simple drink would be acceptable…
And yet, as she nodded her consent, as she saw the familiar light lit from within Naoto’s eyes, his phone rang again. She felt like a sudden haze enveloped her. She registered Naoto’s resigned look and his sigh as he lulled his head heavenward. He stepped away to take the call, but Akko heard the “… I thought you’re in Kyoto?... tonight? But I was thinking…” from Naoto’s restrained conversation a few steps away from her.
Then the silence. Then the conversation stopped. And the light disappeared from his face… or so she thought, as he said that he had to do a rain check for that drink plan. He had an unexpected event that evening.
Ever since, Hayase Naoto had avoided Kagami Atsuko. He was still courteous and polite, the necessary conversations were there, but they had lost the warmth. There was a wall between them she couldn’t understand.
 |
| This is Okada-san as Yamada Haruhiko (Chiisana Kyojin 2017), but I feel this is also how the 37 years old Naoto will look when he is torn... |
And then there was that kiss. Not him kissing her as she had dreamed of since she was in high school. No… it was Mariko who kissed him as she came to his office a few days later, whispering how she missed him. Never a person who displayed affection in public, Naoto blushed and muttered that he was too busy for lunch now, but he’d be there for dinner. Mariko smiled, kissed him again but lightly this time. She fixed his tie and left, Chanel No. 5 filled the corridor as she walked away. Akko remembered that Naoto had looked up in embarrassment, only to have his gaze accidentally met Akko’s. Both of them froze in time, before Akko’s mobile phone rang. Mokko-chan had saved her with her timely, totally unplanned, call from Osaka.
Akko had cried her heart out to Mokko-chan that evening. The day after, she went to HR to ask about the rules of contract termination. It seemed she had to stay in the company for two years before she could leave without penalty. That means up to 1.5 years of pretending of not seeing Naoto walking out for lunch with the photo model, or their kisses, or their phone calls.
But that also meant… 1.5 years of exciting new products and seeing the happy countenance of their customers who found solace in their new products.
How would she see this? A torturous 1.5 years, or an exciting one?
Akko sighed. She missed Mokko-chan. She missed their childhood laughter. Perhaps a trip to Osaka this weekend was a good idea. Deciding to snap out of her lethargy, Akko collected her things, left her cubicle and walked out of her office. Just as she turned off the light, a tall frame appeared from the corridor.
“I’m glad I caught you before you go home. Care for a quick drink?”
-xxx-
Akko played around with her Yebisu as Hayase Naoto sat across her, not touching his own Asahi. They had been sitting in silence for at least 15 min in that bar, a few minutes’ walk from the office towards Tokyo Tower.
"I heard that you talked to HR yesterday," Naoto suddenly broke the silence.
"Ah..." Akko sipped her Yebisu. "Aoyama-san told you about it?"
"Do you want to leave the company?" When the girl said nothing, Naoto pressed on. "Why? Are you not happy here?"
Kagami Atsuko looked up, her eyes misty. She hated herself when she was a crybaby like this. "Things changed..." was the only explanation she could offer him.
Naoto knew what had changed, but he asked it anyway. "What things have changed?"
Akko blinked and wiped some treacherous drops of tears from her eyes. "Nothing. It's just me. Besides, I am just exploring my options. I love working here... so I might stay anyway."
"...Anyway?" Naoto finally reached out to his Asahi and had a large sip. "As in, you are still not really happy, but you decided to stay?"
"Not sure," she shrugged. "I only know that I have dreams, and I don't want to give them up. At least, I want to cling on to one dream, if that's okay."
Naoto studied Akko's pony tails. She didn't wear that hairstyle often now, but today she did, despite the winter, and he actually liked it when she did. He decided to detour the conversation slightly.
“I’ve been wanting to have a drink with you like this,” Naoto spoke again. “You never responded to my invitations back then, so I wasn’t sure if you’d actually accept it… last week, when I asked you.”
“I did say yes, didn’t I…” Akko secretly studied some snowflakes on Naoto’s hair as she sipped her Yebisu. Actually, she might need gin and tonic instead. “But you then had something else, suddenly, if I may say so.”
“Mariko came back from Kyoto unexpectedly.” He sounded so apologetic.
Atsuko looked down at her nails. “I know.”
“I just broke up with her.” There. He said it.
“I kno- WHAT??”
Akko couldn’t possibly guess what Naoto would say, but that one was definitely NOT in her wildest imagination. Growing up taught her to be careful with her hopes.
Regretting that he didn’t order anything stronger for Dutch courage, Naoto gulped his Asahi. “I broke up with Mariko just now.”
Akko blinked. It was a while before she found herself asking why.
“Because I love someone else. And I could have ended it quicker, but I just couldn’t be sure of myself until last week. I should… I should have been certain since last April, though, but I wasn’t.”
-xxx-
The truth is, Hayase Naoto never forgot Kagami Atsuko. True, he had dated 2-3 girls before he met Mariko, but even with Mariko around, he never felt at home. Ever since he saw Akko on that fateful day in 2012, he couldn’t forget her. Not even after she disappeared without a trace.
Oh, Naoto did search for Akko… he even traced her back to the playground he first saw her, for he later remembered that she was the policewoman he bumped into that day. But… he never found her. As if a magical curtain always prevented him to search further. To add the mystery, all of the factory workers who saw a cat transforming into Akko before they prevented the factory from exploding did not seem to remember that transformation at all. They just remembered that Akko and Naoto rushed into the factory to warn them about the bomb. Akko found the bomb, Naoto hurled it into an open space just before it exploded. And then, after reporting to the police, Naoto tried to find Akko. He found only her hand-written letter. The girl herself was gone, swallowed by the night.
Thus Hayase Naoto tried to move on. When Mariko came into his life, he thought he had truly moved on. It was excited to be around someone as lively as Mariko… but when her love turned to possessiveness, he started to feel suffocated. It wasn’t that he was afraid of commitment; but he didn’t like to be tied the way she (perhaps unconsciously) did to him.
Thus, Akko’s unexpected return to Akatsuka gave him contradictory emotions. On the day of the interview, he wanted nothing more than taking her for a dinner that night. Yet, he must remain neutral, hence he waited until the committee accepted her as a new recruit. Only when he found out that Akko was accepted, it hit him. He had Mariko now, hence he couldn’t just leave her for Akko. He didn’t know if his feelings for Akko had been replaced for his feelings for Mariko. Besides, Akko might not have the same feelings that he once had for her…
Hence, he waited and waited for the small chance to talk to Akko, for the chance to know her again. Their shared interest in bio-engineering gave him plenty of reasons. He’d share latest research developments with her, she’d give him her honest opinion about whatever topic he threw at her. He found out that the childlike innocence that she once had had been watered down by logic and propriety… yet her enthusiasm remained. She was still bouncy around Mr Security Guard, who was now the Head of Security, yet she suddenly turned subdued whenever he, Naoto, appeared. The first time Akko greeted him as “Hayase-san”, Naoto felt disappointed. She used to call him just “Naoto”. He wanted her to call him on first-name basis, but he wasn’t sure it was appropriate for a new recruit.
His excessive self-awareness made their reintroduction very slow. Naoto was aware that he had to make the first move, but the combination of Mariko’s presence and the weird fact that Akko had not looked even slightly older since 10 years ago made him confused. Hence he chose to just talk about current workloads, and nothing else. Until last week, when Akko blurted out how she was so proud of him… and how fun it was to work on the colour-changing lipgloss together. Only then Naoto was truly convinced that this Akko was truly that Akko that he met in the department store. Only then he realised that Akko still cared for him, for her cheeks wouldn’t otherwise blush. When Akko agreed for the drink session, Naoto thought that he would just need one more sign from her to make up his mind. Then Mariko called… and the drink was off.
In a way, he was now grateful that Mariko called. The call cemented his decision. He didn’t love Mariko. He was attracted to her, as she was to him, but he didn’t love her. He never felt at home with her, and that was a very important feeling for a boy whose mother left him too early in life. Ever since, Naoto had tried to breach the subject with Mariko, only to have her always evading the conversation. Mariko knew Naoto’s attention had shifted elsewhere, and she had suspected that the cute but ordinary new girl might have been the source, but her pride had kept her from admitting it.
During one dinner last weekend, Mariko had blatantly suggested that it would be great for them to get married. They were made for each other. The cosmetics world of Japan would be so stoked to find that the famous Hayase Naoto of Akatsuka would marry Naru Mariko, the famous photo model. It would be such a happy journey, not to mention a great marketing for them.
Reducing love to a mere marketing strategy was too much for Naoto. He didn’t sleep that night, trying to find the proper way to break up with Mariko. They were not living together, thus breaking up would be a simpler, if not dramatic, business. Yet, it took his old colleague Aoyama Mari to make up his mind this morning. After a regular executive meeting, Mari-kun had casually asked for a private talk with him.
“Kagami Atsuko-san has asked the HR about the terms of engagement. HR thinks that she is not happy here, and thus she plans to leave. Since she’s… in your department, I thought I want to give you a heads up.”
Naoto had stuttered before he thanked Mari-kun for her intelligence. He then took a long walk by the nearby park, skipping lunch altogether. Afterwards, he called Mariko for a quick chat after-hour. He knew Mariko was hesitant, but he said that he had to make a decision, hence the talk was important. He knew that Mariko then thought that it was about the wedding, hence she agreed. Naoto felt a bit guilty because of that, but he just couldn’t let this issue drag longer.
-xxx-
“I don’t understand…” Akko whispered, blush crept into her cheeks. Naoto had just explained her what he had been feeling since the last 10 years, including his break up with Mariko.
“What don’t you understand?”
Akko looked up. “She’s so pretty, why did you break up with her?”
Naoto snickered as he touched his own cheek. Mariko had slapped him this afternoon after he delivered his intention to break up. “Being pretty doesn’t replace the feeling of being at home.” He slowly touched Akko’s hands; they trembled as she looked down again. “I feel at home with you. I said before that I always need you by my side… and that feeling remains the same.”
It was a good while before Akko looked up and whispered, “All these years…?”
“All these years…." She blushed again; he smiled and whispered, "You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you.” Then, with a degree of uncertainty, he added, “Is it correct for me to interpret that your silence means that my feelings for you are reciprocated?”
Kagami Atsuko looked up and, finally, smiled. “You owe me a dinner. You said you will take me to dinner one day.”
Hayase Naoto smiled back and rose from his chair. “I’ll take you to dinner now. Come on, I have my favourite ramen place just around the corner. And then…” as he helped his girl putting on her coat, he added, “… then you need to tell me that famous secret of yours that kept me waiting for 10 years.”
Seeing the familiar smile and shining face, Akko-chan grinned. “It’s a deal, Naoto.”
-END-
Author's note:
Himitsu no Akko-chan was a cute movie, and the English subtitle certainly helped me understand what happened, particularly before and during the annual stakeholder meeting. However, I don't actually get the chemistry between Akko and Naoto. It's not the fault of Haruka and Masaki, I think. It might have been rather deliberate, because Akko was actually a 10 years old girl, thus if it is hyper-sexualised, it would not be appropriate. Thus, I was okay with the non-kiss scene, where Akko actually placed a plastic board between her and Naoto's lips.
However, when the story jumped 10 years ahead, I started to see that it was indeed possible for Akko and Naoto to be an item. It wouldn't be like that had the movie ended with Akko being just a girl, skipping happily with Mokko-chan. Yet, when I saw how she looked at the 38 years old Naoto and how Naoto looked back at her... that was the time when I thought: yes, it could work. They could make it work.
It would not be easy, though. To me, Naoto might have tried to move on. Worse, he might have a family already. I don't want to make it too dramatic, hence I chose a girlfriend instead of a wife and a child.
I hope you like it.
